the little things come last
theres a common sentiment when it comes to mental health that it will improve if you do things to take care of yourself. exercise, eating right, brushing your teeth, among many others. ive never found this to be the case when it comes to actually combatting mental illness. obviously, if those things are neglected then there is a net negative effect. however, the presence or absence of those activities never made a difference for me. if anything, doing them required extra energy for no tangible mental benefit.
my opinion began to change once i was on a good medication regimen and my life started to stabilize. i found that i wanted to do things like keep my home tidy, exercise, and go outside more. it was a slow process. undoing years of bad habits isnt something that happens overnight, but the important part was the desire to change was truly there.
my experience has lead me to a conclusion about the little things. imagine a pyramid of needs. i think a lot of people see things like exercise, eating well, and taking care of yourself generally as the bottom of the pyramid and good mental health as the capstone. for others, maybe that is true. for me though, good mental health is at the bottom, and the little things like brushing my teeth twice a day are at the very top. its a privilege to take care of myself. its something i get to do now after being tormented by mental illness for most of my life.
theres a particular thought pattern i began to notice as i got better and the more i noticed it, the more i appreciated just how far id come. ill use teeth brushing as an example again because ive always struggled with that. im a late sleeper, like 2-3am almost every night. i used to go to the bathroom and then sleep as my bed time routine, but now theres a voice in my head that says, "hey you should brush your teeth! youll feel better!". so i do, and that voice is right, i do feel better.
BUT! im only able to do this because my mental illness is well under control. controlled enough that sometimes i forget how much it negatively impacted my life. its not that brushing my teeth made my life better, its that my life got better after i became mentally healthy which allowed me to think about my health, grooming, and general well being.
i think the desire to take care of yourself is wonderful, but people should not be shamed into thinking that the absence of those habits is why their mental illness isnt getting better. if only it were so simple. for me, no amount of self care was going to fix depression. i think (mostly) well meaning people often make this mistake when someone expresses their mental health struggles. its easy to say that if someone just did xyz then their problem would go away. mental illness, in my experience, just doesnt work that way. in my opinion, the little things come last. when they do come, i think its worth reflecting on how far you have come to get there. the little things are the peak, not the foundation.